Ripples

(Started on Friday 30th October) This is probably going to be rambling; an unqualified brain dump from my whirlwind mind tonight for which I make no apologies.  I worked late to try and finish a presentation, and then when comparing what I'd done to the brief realised that I'd missed out a fairly critical section of the analysis.  This means that I have two options.  I could leave it until Monday, spend most of the day doing that, issue the presentation late and be a day behind on the already over long list of things to do next week.  Alternatively I could go into work over the weekend (maybe Sunday afternoon) and catch up.  I'll see how I feel tomorrow but suspect that it may be the latter.  The presentation is very interesting though as I'm currently analysing the results from a Health and Safety survey that we carried out on 1200 people in Yorkshire Water, and the contractors and consultants that work for them. The findings are quite illuminating and I'm sure I'll share more on that at some point.

Anyway, that took me to mid-evening after which I went to Tesco for bread and as a bonus found a couple of nice pieces of mackerel reduced in price by 75% which formed my tea, along with potatoes and peas.  I guess it's a homage to fish and chips but was totally unintentional.  I've also bought a couple of sea bass to cook tomorrow and am looking forward to them already.  If it's nice weather I may even barbecue them.

Back to the topic of this narration...

I've been thinking a lot this week about actions and their impacts both seen and unseen, known and unknown.  I get scared sometimes about who I am, what I'm really like, the negative impact that I may be having on others without even realising it.  That's one of the reasons I want to continue to know myself better and so be able to consider how others may see me.  The ripple comparison is quoted endlessly, but it still seems valid here.  Your actions can be like dropping a stone in a pond: the ripples disseminate out until they lap up on the banks.  In their ever expanding circle they'll rock or splash against anything they pass. Let me tell you about one of those ripples that started this week.

Last weekend  went for a run.  I did a couple of circuits between my house and the Doctor's and on the second circuit popped in for a flu and pneumonia vaccination.  That was all okay and by the time I got home I'd done about 16km.  I wanted to run a bit further as it was my last chance to get in a nice long run before tapering down to the marathon so decided to run to Thomas's house to drop off a birthday card for him.  This would have made another 13km round trip. 

As I was running there my right hip was hurting quite a bit.  It seemed to be getting worse.  I didn't have a phone or any money on me so couldn't stop and get any pain killers.  By the time I got to Thomas's house it was really quite sore and I was going to ask Thomas if he had any ibuprofen but when I go there he was just getting into the car with his family and parents to go out to the park. I didn't want to delay them so didn't say anything and just handed over the card and carried on my way.  Well, tried to carry on my way.  Unfortunatley my hip was so painful that I could not run and so I decided to start walking back towards home, accepting that it would take me about an hour to get there.

I thought that I could try and hitch a lift but didn't hold out much hope of anyone stopping to pick up a sweaty runner in the back lanes north of Leeds.  To my surprise the fourth car to pass stopped, and two women in it asked me what was wrong.  I explained that I'd been out for a run but my hip was hurting.  It turned out that they were just on their way back from parkrun and so sympathetic to runners!  They also happened to be going through Bardsey and insisted on dropping me off at my door.  I don't think I could have been any luckier (or looked after as is probably the case).  In passing through Bardsey Kirstie (the driver) pointed out a house where her parents lived which does make it a very small world.  I felt so incredibly grateful for their help and support, and also felt particularly guilty about being so sweaty so the nice leather seats of the very smart mini.

Having got back and sat down with a bag of frozen peas on my hip, I set to thinking as to what I could do to say thank you to Kirstie, and having thought of a few options, decided to send a notional gift to a charity of her choice with a charity cheque.  I therefore wrote it out, leaving the charity name blank and put a covering note on it to explain that she need only write the name of the charity that she wanted to make the donation to on the cheque and give it to the charity, who would be able to claim the money from my account.  I then put it through the door of her parent's house later that day, in an envelope marked for her attention.

To my surprise later that week I found a note through my door thanking me.  I'm not going to explain in detail what she'd given the money to or the reason for her choice of charity, but suffice to say I  wholeheartedly agreed with both.  Her note was very moving, and made me appreciate the small but hopefully meaningful positive impact that this gift will have had on other's lives.  It's a case of ripples.  A chain of events.  Outcomes which I'll never know the details of, but can trust that will have occurred.  It's humbling and at times sobering to realise how much we depend on others.  Our lives are integrated with those around us.  We're shaped by the ripples they create and shape them with the waves we generate. 


Similarly, on Friday I chose to wear the t-shirt I got at the Great North Run to work, with a Pancreatic Cancer UK badge on it.  Only one person asked what the badge represented, and so maybe there were no ripples caused by that, but I sent a text message to Andrea to let her know what I was doing.  Her reply to my message that 'I was wearing my GNR t-shirt and pancreatic cancer pin with pride' was 'That's really made me smile! X'.  Again a ripple, for reasons that won't be obvious on this, but I and potentially others may appreciate.